Insecurities are quite destructive not only to our health and daily activities but also to our personal development in the long run. It all boils down to the thoughts we create in our mind. Perhaps these perceptions are products of negative engagements, challenging upbringing, heart trenching breakups, unsupportive friendships or relationships, bad outlook on failure, low self-esteem and societal rejections to name a few.
All these have a way of contributing to the fear we build within us and impacting the way we regard ourselves.
Fear of growing, speaking out your opinions, taking steps filled with courage and power or learning to be vulnerable in your own space.
Thus, the result of this fear eventually develops into insecurities gradually as it isn’t just a deed that occurs in a day.
Personally, I have suffered from insecurities in the past especially being a plus size lady. You all should know the ideology that is surrounded around those that are big and how you shouldn’t be expected to be confident and bold!
However, over time I have really taken time to understand that the way you present yourself to the world is the way you will be discerned. It all starts with YOU and ends with YOU.
Today, I will share some tips that can really contribute enormously to how you can grow to overcome any form of insecurity and hopefully, you can benefit from them. Don’t forget to check out my other articles on personal development here.
Discard the mindset that you are unworthy.
How great will it be if you truly “believe” that you are good enough?
It is really saddening that there is actually more to us than we give ourselves credit for because of the fear of being judged or failure.
It could be that you love baking but you are scared that nobody will buy it from you probably because you are worried that there are some other people doing the business already.
In fact, we often discard the reality of our own strengths and then over time starts developing insecurities within ourselves.
Questions like “am I really worthy of this thing?” “can I excel in this aspect?” “should I just leave it?” start coming up frequently in our mind.
Moreover, there are actually more to your own style or way of doing things that will distinguish you from others. So, why not explore and create opportunities out of your potentials by doing whatever will make you happy.
Accept compliments and make time out to reward yourself.
Yes!!! I see no reason why you can’t boldly embrace the compliments people give you.
You need to carry yourself in ways worthy enough to spur people to give you compliments freely and not as if they are doing you a favor. You shouldn’t start explaining your insecurities or flaws to anyone in an attempt to tone down the way people see the greatness in you.
Start by embracing compliments like “You are very inspiring”, “You look really beautiful”, “You are really strong”, “I wish I can be like you” and more.
As I said before, you deserve every bit of the praises. Not only that, you are also entitled to a lot of love just as much as you give it. Of course, not everyone will be like you in terms of your selflessness, caring or kindness.
It might sound funny, but should you create time for special treatments. Be the one doing the “patting on the back” to praise yourself of the growth and developments you have made so far.
Remember, the only validations you need should erupt from within YOU.
Live up to your own uniqueness and disregard the insecurities.
It is as simple as it sounds. Create your own happiness amidst your flaws. Forget about the doubts behind uncertainties and learn to accept you for who you are. This doesn’t imply that you wouldn’t work on yourself to be better every day. It stresses more on the fact that you should put a stop to the habit of concealing your values and potentials.
When insecurities build up over time, it negatively diminishes the self-trust you place in yourself. In fact, that is when you start making unnecessary excuses and then eventually finds it hard, to be honest with yourself.
Remember, you learn as you live. So, it’s actually needed that you let go of past memories that could hinder your personal development. Learn to trust your words, instincts, abilities, and decisions.
Guard your space.
Oh well… To remain sane, you need to protect your mind from negative people and their advice. To be frank, you really have to choose carefully what you feed your heart and mind.
Insecurities stem from opinions of people that erupt from the experiences they have gone through. Mostly, they don’t really have your best interest at heart. Which is why most of the ideas are bias.
Filter out unnecessary distractions and have a strong belief in yourself. It shouldn’t be any other way, just cultivate the habit of LOVING YOURSELF SELFISHLY EVERY DAY!
Surround yourself with people that love you for who you are. Those people that genuinely care about you and want your success. Stay away from dark energy or vibes that will pollute your space and mind.
Don’t compare your progress to others’ success.
It’s worse to feel insecure but the worst is having to compare your own beginning to someone else’s ending. We keep forgetting that everyone has their own purpose. So, it’s really important to understand that the only person we should be competing with is ourselves. Just simply striving to be better than you were yesterday, a week before or a month before.
Come to think of it, everyone has a bit of something they are dealing with. Things you wouldn’t even wish for yourself. But, because you perceive those people you look at to be perfect, you automatically assume they have no troubles or worries.
Remember that you only get to see what they want you to see. Just as how you try to expose the good side of you and conceal the imperfect part you term as flaws.
Be proud of wherever you are, whatever you have accomplished and whoever you are becoming.
It is never too late to find the path to your self-confidence once again.
Perhaps, you can start now by sharing what you are insecure about with me or someone you love.
Love, Sekinat Sanni.